A Day with Mr. Surain ( by Nurhayati Ishak June 08)

Nurhayati (Yati): Alright, let’s get started.

Mr. Surain (Mr.S): I like pizza...

Yati: Right... Okay. So Mr.S, you left school about a month back. Could you tell us what you have contributed to the school?

Mr.S: Err... Nothing? Well, I enjoy helping out the IB students like taking them grocery shopping for their ‘Vamos a la fiesta’ and being there for them like futsal and outdoor activities.

Yati: How awesome. Yeah, you’re always there for us and we thank you for that. Alright now, enough about your career. As you know, this month’s issue is about love. So... Mr.S, what is love to you? I know you’re probably going to write one whole book on it, so just keep it short, please. J

Mr.S: Love is about letting go. You can feel love even if you’re not with someone (i.e.; partner). Love is not a fact but I believe in it, tremendously. You can analyse it from the point of biology, psychology, sociology, economics and religion, but the best way to understand, appreciate and experience the whole of it is by feeling it, in your skin, in the air, in the eyes, and by letting go of your ego, and be open. But we always deny it, perhaps it’s because we can’t wrap our heads around it. One moment of love is better than a century of study about it.

Yati: Whoa. I like what you said. True that. So Mr.S, have you ever been in love?

Mr.S: Yes, many times. At the moment, I am in love...

Yati: Many times? Hmmm, I’ve got a question. I don’t understand about this part of life. How can you be in love so many times? I mean, I’m sure when you fall in love for the first time, you go like “Alright, this is it. She’s the one.” Then s#!t happens and you break up. When you look back, you tell yourself that it wasn’t love. It was puppy love. Then you go on searching for true love, which I think it only comes once in a lifetime, yes? I mean, how do you know that “She’s the one. She’s the person you’re in love with. This is what you call true love.” Do enlighten us Opinionated Monthly readers.

Mr.S: I cannot control how much the other person loves me, nor can I make the other person love me. As I said earlier, I believe in it, I have faith in it, therefore I’ll keep waiting for it, looking for it and putting effort into it. Only God knows if she’s the one or not. Puppy love, monkey love, true love... they are all love, but with labels. Love can come and go. It’s a privilege to be in love. It’s a gift given by life, by God.

Yati: Someone is a pro here. J So back to the previous question. You mentioned that you are in love. Who? What? When? Why? How?

Mr.S: Can I say that I’m in love even though the girl doesn’t know it? J Call it infatuation, call it a crush, call it deeply smitten, call it what you like. But I’m feeling veeeeery gooood, I can’t stop smiling. J Is this love that I’m feeling?

Yati: I don’t know, Mr.S. Only you know right? J Alright, last question, Mr.S. Everyone has their own love story. Tell us about yours J

Mr.S: Well, I was intensely in love with my girlfriend back then when I was 18/19 years of age. I was serious about it. I read books on relationships, marriage and sought advice from people who were much elder than me. I wanted to marry her, seriously. But alas...it was not meant to be. From then until about two years ago, I fell in love about three times, but it was not reciprocated. Haha! Man, this is embarrassing. J

Yati: Alright Mr.S, I think we’re good here. You’ve seen our discussion topic yeah? Looking forward to your response J Thanks again!

Mr.S: Awesome. See you soon!

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Interview with Mr. Paul Kiong / Prepared by Azlan Bin Latif

In this March issue, we bring you an exclusive interview with Mr. Paul Kiong, who was in Sri KDU for a talk session with the IB students. Mr. Paul Kiong was honoured with the highest award of Sri Gagah Panglima Perkasa, for excellent service in the police force fighting against communists. Including him, there are only 8 recipients of this award.  He was born in Perak, and spent 15 years of his life fighting communist. The March issue has the main topic of “Love”, and in this interview, we see how love has always been a strong motivation for him.

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OM      : Having fought so hard to free our country from the hands of communists, you must love Malaysia very much. Can you describe the love you have for our country?

Paul Kiong       : I love Malaysia very much without any doubt. If there is a repeat of the communist era, I would not hesitate for a second time to put my life on the line for Malaysia. I am always prepared.

OM      : As a policeman in the special force, you must have had many interesting / dangerous experiences. Is there any among them that you want to share?

Paul Kiong       : The most dangerous experience I had was when some of the communist soldiers turned themselves in. At that time, we had this agreement that whoever turned themselves in to the police, they would not be punished, but would be treated as friends instead, with the condition of they would serve the police. So I had this one ex-communist who lived and stayed with me in the police camp. He was with the communists for 18 years. Logically, he would have been a very loyal communist servant, so it was very risky to just simply let him stay with the police forces. He could betray us anytime. But that risk was something that all the police had to take in order to gain his trust. Four days of living together with the ex-communist put our lives on the line. It turned out he never betrayed us. Come to think of it again, why would he betray us? He had been living comfortably with enough food supply and his family was in safe hands since quitting as a communist.

OM      : This might be a bit off the main topic, but we hope you don’t mind us asking. What is your response to Chin Peng wanting to return to Malaysia?

Paul Kiong       : Chin Peng was the leader for Parti Komunis Malaya (PKM) and he was a commander. Back then, he wanted to topple the legal government of Malaya. So, his coming back here would definitely cause an unnecessary stir as a lot of people hold grudges against him. If he does come back, it will cause a lot of unhappiness and displeasure, especially among the police forces of that time.

OM      : Sir, we know that you have a wife. During the communist insurgencies you must have had to face many dangers almost every moment of the day. How did you and your wife cope with that? And how tough was it to deal with the fact that you had to live apart from each other most of the time?

Paul Kiong       :  We were married on the 2^nd of October 1971. How bad was it? My own son could not even recognize me as his dad after an operation I had. I went home at that time with a very pale face, well you know, in the jungle we didn’t bathe. Even if we did, we were not allowed to use soap or else we would easily be spotted by the communists. We could cope with the fact that I had to be away most of the time all because we understood each other. My wife understood the nature of my job. She never asked “When are you coming back?” Because we both knew that I might not be back.

OM      : As a reward and recognition of your services and sacrifices for the country, you have been honoured as the Panglima Gagah Perkasa. What is your response to that honour?

Paul Kiong       : I am very proud of it as it was given by the government, which means, it is from the people of Malaysia. To me, this is not a personal achievement, but together as a group, me and the police force.

OM      : During the battles you had, what was the main thing you thought of? What made you stay alive? What motivated you?

Paul Kiong       : All I had in mind was, the LOVE for my family, and also my country. I only wanted to go back home alive, because of my concern for them. If I was killed, who would take care of my family? I LOVE my wife and son so much, I just didn’t want them to be sad, I didn’t want them to hear the news of my death.

OM      : Last but not least, sir, do you have any message that you would like to send out to the young Malaysians today to develop their feeling of love for the country?

Paul Kiong       : Firstly, treasure the peace and harmony that you are enjoying now. We struggled and fought so hard to obtain this, take some time to understand the sacrifices we went through. Never forget the forefathers with their hardship to put us where we are now. Communism is unlikely to happen again here in Malaysia, so you won’t have the chance to defend your country like we did. But what you can do for Malaysia is to contribute and bring up the name of Malaysia in the eyes of the world, such as by excelling in studies or sports or whatever way. One thing I dislike about Malaysians nowadays is their habit of emigrating to other countries. In a way, I am offended because it is as if they did not have love for their own country.

OM      : Thank you, sir, for the very inspirational words. We hope to see you again and thank you for your sacrifices for the country. (Salutes!)

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What Do We Really Think of Teenage Problems?

Edward Ong
1: What was the most rebellious thing you did when you were a teenager?
   Teen angst I never had, but I did have a couple of rebellious episodes. I went through this    period when I would choose to spend all my free time with my friends (I was still living in Penang) and not come home for days on end. My parents never paid much attention to me so I wouldn’t exactly call this “rebellious”. What did I do when I was away? This mixed-blood Asian friend of mine had an apartment by the sea and his parents, living abroad, had left it entirely in his care. We totally loved it, of course. Oddly enough, we never did anything that got us into trouble. Instead, we swam, rowed, haunted the beach and talked endlessly about nothing.

2: Do you associate teen angst with your inability to understand your environment, or your environment's inability to understand you?
   Since I’ve never had it, it’s difficult for me to say. But if I had to hazard, I would say it’s a bit of both. The world is a complicated place that does not care for the individual, and conversely, we find it a bore trying to understand it.

3: What advice would you give to those teens who are going through teen angst? How/What should they do to overcome teen angst?
   Tough it out. Look at it this way: it will not and cannot last. When things get really bad, feign indifference and be devastatingly cynical. Cynicism, contrary to what positive thinkers would like us to believe, is a most efficient weapon.

4: Does teen angst inspire you in any way, be it positive, negative, creative, destructive?
   It does and it should. It in fact prepares you for the toughness of the adult world. If you can’t deal with it now, you can forget about surviving later on. The adult world is full of major and minor battles which you must face on a daily basis, so you must be armed and fully prepared.
5: "Teen angst usually comes from family problems." Do you agree with that? Why?
   Usually but not always. Family members (usually parents) contribute to the psychological well-being of the teenager. It is not unusual for me, as a teacher, to spot problems in a student and immediately leap to the conclusion of problematic parents. When I do meet the parents, my conclusion is often proved accurate. This always leads me to question parenthood: it shows that not everyone is equipped for it.

Masukor Sari
1: What was the most rebellious thing you did when you were a teenager?
   When I was 12 I ran away from the family, a friend of my dad’s, I was boarded with to live in a temporary squatter settlement, without my parent’s knowledge. I was boarded there to attend high school. The nearest high school was 20 miles, yes miles, from home in my village. Transportation was difficult then and I had the habit of missing the transport arranged to collect me from school; much to my dad’s despair hence the boarding house. Why did I run away? Next time perhaps.

2: Do you associate teen angst with your inability to understand the environment, or the environment's inability to understand you?
   This is a complex problem. I don’t think there is a satisfactory answer that fits all situations. The human brain is a complex piece of machinery. Beyond the growth stage, a lot of interlinking of neural pathways happens during the teenage years. The numbers of connections are staggering, many trillions, the probability of misconnection and disconnection where the neuron will die is not insignificant. This incomplete, developing brain may produce spurious outputs that challenge the norm. The interplay between brain to environment and environment to brain in each of us is feedback dependent and the outcome is not always predictable. The short answer to this question is I don’t know.

3: What advice would you give to those teens who are going through teen angst? How/What should they do to overcome teen angst?
   Advise them? Not at all. I would simply treat them normally and kindly. Look after them the best we can so that self-harm and harm to society is minimise. Give them time to grow.

4: Did teen angst inspire you in any way, be it positive, negative, creative, destructive?
   Hopeful and creative. After all the adult has all the experience and tool that these teenagers do not have.

5: "Teen angst usually comes from family problems." Do you agree with that? Why?
   Not always. But family situations can influence; feedback mechanism, if not managed well can alter neural connections and difficult to deconstruct.

Surain Bin Azhar   
1: What was the most rebellious thing you did when you were a teenager?
   Rode my motorcycle without a license. Brought my girlfriend over to my place for overnight stays without my parents’ permission. Shaved my head bald. Came back home VERY late at night even though I was given a stern lecture. Thrashed the car. Absent from family functions. 

2: Do you associate teen angst with your inability to understand the environment, or the environment's inability to understand you?
   The former.

3: What advice would you give to those teens who are going through teen angst? How/What should they do to overcome teen angst?
   Take a moment to breathe, so that enough oxygen gets into your brain. And then you’ll be able to think better. Take it all out on sports and exercise. And do social services.

4: Did teen angst inspire you in any way, be it positive, negative, creative, destructive?
   Positively and creatively.

5: "Teen angst usually comes from family problems." Do you agree with that? Why?
   No. Can’t blame the parents. I don’t speak for teenagers. In my case, it was my fault.  

   I disagree with the topic “Teen Angst” because it is about looking for faults in teenagers as to why they are full of angst. We’ll end up with a list of reasons which we can conveniently point our fingers to and thus wipe our hands clean of any responsibilities, and therefore we (adults) appear innocent and all good whereas teenagers appear faulty and bad.


Aimran Alif (June 08)

    Teen Angst: Recent cultural phenomenon where young people (typically ages 13-18) think that they have it tough, that they have rights, and that their opinion actually means something, and that they can do whatever the hell they want.
    That was the sarcastic definition provided by Urban Dictionary. In this month’s issue of Opinionated Monthly, we deal with teen angst, the force that drives our younger generation. But what is all the fuss about? With a couple of questions designed by our advertisers/street team, we set out to interview some people we knew, or maybe even don’t know well enough, about their thoughts on teen angst.
Our first interviewee would rather not have its name mentioned (For the purpose of avoiding gender issues, we use ‘it’ to refer to both sexes). And here were its answers:

Interviewee #1
1.    Being a teenager with problems, does it help you look at others the same way, and does it make you want to help other teens suffering the same fate as you?
    Yes, it makes me want to help people. Helping other people makes you feel better.

2.    What is the most rebellious thing you've done?
Sneaking out/lying

3.    Do you associate teen angst with your inability to understand your environment, or your environment's inability to understand you?
My environment’s inability to understand me. Teens have this perception that they’re above everyone, yet they suffer from a low self esteem, and receive no support from the environment.

4.    What advice would you give to teens going through teen angst? What should they do to overcome teen angst?
Talk to someone, like a close friend or an adult. Just generally get some support.

5.    Does teen angst inspire you in any way, be it positive, negative, creative, destructive?
I think teen angst gives us a chance to express ourselves, it allows us to be free.

6.    Teen angst usually comes from family problems." Do you agree with that?
    Yes, but not always.

Interviewee #2
1.    Being a teenager with problems, does it help you look at others the same way, and does it make you want to help other teens suffering the same fate as you?
Yes, it does. I believe it makes me a better listener. However, I do feel that we face individual problems, and as much as we say it, we can never really relate to one another. That being said, it does make me try and reach out to lend a helping hand and be a shoulder to cry on when I can.

2.    What is the most rebellious thing you've done?
I’ve done a lot of insane things in my life, not out of teen angst, but mostly out of curiosity, personal enjoyment, or self punishment. Most of which I shouldn’t mention. To name a few, I’ve burnt, cut and whipped myself repeatedly when I feel oppressed by the society around me. It is a form of rebellion because it goes against one’s natural behaviour to simply cry, or complain. Growing up, crying wasn’t always tolerated so we had to find our ways around to release ourselves from time to time.

3.    Do you associate teen angst with your inability to understand your environment, or your environment's inability to understand you?
It is a bit of both. I associate it with the imbalance of life, and the lack of compromise. I think society nowadays hasn’t fully learned to respect us as individuals, and that we are inevitably different. I think teen angst stems from society’s way of making us conform, and us simply trying to find a way to fight back.

4.    What advice would you give to teens going through teen angst? What should they do to overcome teen angst?
That depends on the level of angst you’re at. At more moderate levels, all I can say is “wait it out”. It will be a learning experience. However, I’ve seen some crazy and disturbing things in life. If you ever feel you are about to arrive at that level, get help immediately. Call a suicide hotline or have at least one person you can fully trust to speak to.

5.    Does teen angst inspire you in any way, be it positive, negative, creative, destructive?
A little bit of everything. Positive because it keeps me humble. Negative because it brings my self-esteem to non-existence. Creative because it helps me express myself (though I believe nothing can capture the true essence of your emotion), and destructive because I end up hurting myself more than people hurt me.

6.    Teen angst usually comes from family problems." Do you agree with that?
Not usually. It depends on what is ‘out there to get you’. Having said that, I happen to have a decent number of friends whose parents have divorced. Most of whom have managed to take it in the most mature way possible.

Interviewee # 3
1.    Being a teenager with problems, does it help you look at others the same way, and does it make you want to help other teens suffering the same fate as you?
No, it doesn’t, and not at all because if they're anything like me they're not going to take my advice anyway, and I guess it’s a learning process so I’d rather they fall and stand up again by themselves. It makes them stronger in future.

2.    What is the most rebellious thing you've done?
Had sex in a cinema. Skipped school and flew to Bali, lying to my parents that I was somewhere else.

3.    Do you associate teen angst with your inability to understand your environment, or your environment's inability to understand you?
Neither. I think it’s a personality disorder on its own.

4.    What advice would you give to teens going through teen angst? What should they do to overcome teen angst?
    I guess do whatever you want to do. Just know there are limits and a fine line between
        everything. I’m sure they’re smart enough to know what they’re doing.

5.    Does teen angst inspire you in any way, be it positive, negative, creative, destructive?
Creative in a  way, I guess. Sometimes I write better and sometimes I paint better. Haha. But it’s destructive as well because at times I tend to inflict self-damage though not so often anymore. I guess we grow out of it. At the same time there’s always a silver lining.  =p What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. No?

6.    Teen angst usually comes from family problems." Do you agree with that?
    It doesn’t come directly from it, but it does influence it in some sense, I guess, and if you’re   
        unlucky it becomes your breaking point, like how you inflate a balloon and if you’re not careful
        that one extra puff can make your balloon pop.

Azlan Latif (June 09)

1: Being a teenager with problems...does it help you look at others the same way, and does it
   make you want to help other teens suffering the same fate as you?
   Going through secondary school, problems come to me from every angle. Like every teenager, my problems are associated  with studies. The pressure we get from our dearest parents to excel in studies,
from teachers, and relatives too. The next problem is unavoidable. Feelings, they come naturally. At  
this phase, we tend to get attracted to the opposite sex or we call it, to “fall in love”. This will lead to heartbreaks and us drowning ourselves in emotions. These problems, which I am currently facing too, have taught me to be wiser in making decisions, to think positively and maturely and to be able to self-motivate. These kinds of experiences make me feel like I am able to help the other teens suffering the same fate as I had. I want to show them that there’s a way and it is possible to overcome the problems,  before they get lost by taking the wrong steps.

 2. What is the most rebellious thing you've done when going through teen angst?
   I am not the run-and-go-wild type. So the most rebellious thing I did was I drove illegally and went to have fun, as in socializing. These days, we all know what too much socializing can lead us to.

 3. Do you associate teen angst with your inability to understand your environment, or your
    environment's inability to understand you?
   I can best associate it with the environment that’s not being understanding. For example in studies. If we get poor marks, our parents will start talking and blaming everything that has got to do with us. Don’t they understand that we are already having a hard time with the marks and yet they tend to blame us.  My inability to understand the environment doesn’t matter because I won’t bother about everything else other than myself.

 4. What advice would you give to those teens who are going through teen angst? How/What
    should they do to overcome teen angst?
   Sit back and think what actually went wrong and what could possibly be the cause. Try to solve it then. You may seek advice or just express it to whoever you feel comfortable with and whom you trust. At least you won’t feel you are alone. To me, what’s important is to face the problem. Do not just run away and turn your back on it because it is eventually a never-ending story. Not forgetting, say some prayers as well. Yes, they help a lot.

 5. Does teen angst inspire you in any way, be it positive, negative, creative, destructive?
   At first, it will affect me negatively. It leads me to a very socializing life as I need to cheer myself up but after some time, I do some thinking and it actually motivates me positively when I find out that the socializing stuff won't solve any problems. It is just an instant and a temporary getaway.


 6. "Teen angst usually comes from family problems." Do you agree with that? Why?
   Yes, it is the main factor. Growing up, we need attention from parents. We need to feel the love and care from them and we need family too during our hard times. Who else should we turn to anyway? Friends? Maybe, but the wrong choice of friends will do you bad.

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