~MARCH'S DISCUSSION TOPIC~ LOVE

~ MARCH’S DISCUSSION TOPIC ~

LOVE

What is love? Does true love exist? Is there such a thing as everlasting love? Is love purely biological or spiritual? Is monogamy the only way? Is love entirely selfless or selfish? Love – the age-old conundrum.

First of all, I sincerely would like to thank all PETRONAS scholars for the great initiative of taking Malay A1, which can be described as a dream come true. I love you guys so much! And I love other IB students and teachers too! =) Love? What is love? Love is a big, meaningful word. People have searched for the meaning of love a million times over. But even the great philosophers, with their researched definitions, could not get hold of its true essence. Actually, the meaning of love could only be defined by ourselves.

Since I am not taking English A1 anymore, I am going to spread the importance of love in our life which I wrote about in my World Lit Essay. The important message that can be seen in the work of Hermann Hesse is the nature of father-son relationships. Throughout the work, the writer manifests the various emotional sentiments revolving around father-son relationships.  While the father appears to offer an abundance of love, the respective son seems to be unappreciative. Despite the efforts of the father, the sons continue to show signs of disrespect, indifferent attitudes, and to some extent, rudeness.

In the case of Siddhartha, his character is portrayed as someone who continues to offer his fatherly love, and harbours hope that someday, his son will be able to accept and love him as a father. Siddhartha is genuine and expects nothing in return other than his son’s love even as his son continues to show disrespect and cold behavior towards him. His love is without expectations and unconditional: “Still, he loved him, and he cherished the sorrow and suffering of love more than joy and happiness without the boy”. This is because the son has never met and felt his father’s love. However, Siddhartha chooses to suffer and be in the presence of pleasure of his son rather than enjoy worldly pleasure without his son’s company. Siddhartha even disregards Vasudeva’s advice and persuasion for him to give up. He continues wooing his son’s heart even as Vasudeva says to him: “Your son, dear friend, is causing you worry, and he is causing me worry too”. This shows that he tries to convince Siddhartha to give up as the son’s attitude has caused them much to worry about. Siddhartha still wants to love his son but meets resistance from him. He does not realise that his action is bound to an earthly desire.

In a subsequent passage, Siddhartha is reinforced as a determined person. He is tenacious in his decisions as he strongly believes that he will someday win his son’s heart if he continues to pursue his objective with love and patience. The bonding between the two is very strong as is evident in his willingness to face any circumstances in order to capture his son’s heart: “Look, I am fighting for him, I am wooing his heart, I want to capture it with love and friendly patience”. Eventually, he does not realise that the cycle repeats itself, which is the cycle of the nature of father-son relationship. However, Siddhartha loves his son and assumes that someday, the son will start to love him as a father.

As we can see, the bond between the father and the son is very strong until Siddhartha does not even care about his son’s attitude and still hopes for the son’s love. This behaviour shows how important love is until someone is willing to sacrifice his own feelings in order to be loved.

Fatin Shazea Jamaludin

Holding firmly a dark brown wrapped glass bottle in his left hand, Shawn yells strongly in pain till he can be heard in the next few houses. He has gulped the liquid in the bottle and now he is suffering. He staggers a few inches forward, trying to reach a portrait on a wall in his living room, and his vision is getting blurred and he feels truly dizzy. He tightly clutches his throat with both hands. The bottle glides down and breaks into pieces. Then, he collapses on to a rocking chair, falls down on the floor, crawls, and his fingers are scratching the floor. He is committing suicide.
Why? Is he mad? A short question clouds my thoughts. Why did he do so? Once again, a question storms in my confused mind.
Knock! Knock! Knock! Somebody is at the front door.
‘Open the door! Shawn! Open!’ A loud shrilling female voice is heard, urging Shawn to open the door but, actually, it is unlocked. That is Sherry. For Shawn, she is a special person in his life. Because there is no response, she pushes the door open and dashes into the living room. Startled, her eyes are on Shawn, who is lying on the floor. Quickly, she cuddles him.
‘I-I-I-’m sorry Shawn, it’s really my fault. I-I-I never mean to do so!’ Sherry wails.

Earlier, Shawn went to meet Sherry at her work place, a restaurant which is situated 25 metres from Shawn’s dwelling. He invited Sherry to sit with him because he had something to tell her and it seemed to be quite important for him. So, Sherry sat in the opposite chair. She felt pretty anxious with Shawn’s strange behavior as since their first meeting seven years ago, he had never been this serious.
Shawn removed something from his pocket and showed it to Sherry. He knelt and articulated, ‘Would you marry me?’
‘Are you mad?’, she replied loudly in surprise, frowning.
Her eyes showed her blazing wrath. Everybody in the restaurant was staring at them both, and some of them were clapping their hands. Shawn was surprised by her reaction and she was truly surprised by his action. Shawn thought Sherry loved him but she thought Shawn was out of his mind. Then, she slapped him, just nice on his left cheek, in public. A wave of shame went over him. He was dreadfully disappointed as he wasted seven years waiting for this moment. After that, he quickly left the restaurant.
‘Shawn! Wake up!’ Sherry cries to Shawn whose head is on her lap, but it is too late. He is dead. Tears stream swiftly from her eyes and she feels terribly lost.
I know that Shawn loved her more than himself and I do know that Sherry loves him, but due to her shyness, she harshly rejected his propose. Every day, Shawn would stare at the portrait on the wall about an hour. It was Sherry’s portrait. Shawn loved her very much. If he could not win her heart, he believed his life was valueless because he got cancer and he only could survive a few weeks more. Winning her love was the only thing he dreamt of. Sherry loves him as well. She keeps his picture in her purse and always smiles when she looks at it.

Wha can I do? I am just a little bird in a steel cage. I only can see and but can do nothing. If I am free, I am sure that I can help them and other people as well. And, of course, Shawn would be the happiest man in this world if he knew that Sherry loves him.
Ahmad Afandi

Valentine’s Day is around the corner and February is a month that is linked to love and lust. What is love actually and how do we define love? Love means different things to different people, but probably one thing they all have in common is the unselfish giving of ourselves and showing concern for each other. Some people might say that love is a burning passion and compassion for someone who makes you gasp at their every action. There are also certain people that do not believe in love, maybe because they have been hurt before. As for me, I would say that love is a complicated matter. It can hurt, and it can be great at the same time. My concern right now is: can we still love our partner when we are ninety? Will this feeling last forever though our partner changes a lot, not to mention he or she will become fatter and very different from whom they are right now?

               Love is blind, that is the reason why we can find many young couples kissing each other without thinking about their partner’s background.  They might say that love conquers everything or love is the strongest force on earth; what I can conclude about those young couples is: they are morons. In my opinion, in order to find the love of your life, you must begin by looking for the qualities that you want inside our partner. It might sound selfish, but this is the truth. What I mean by quality refers to the characters of our partner. Most young lovers do not really care about their partner’s personality. They will say love is blind, but think carefully, if your lover is a drug addict, will you still love him? Only stupid people will do that. Regarding my concern above, I strongly believe that we will not have the same feeling towards our partner when we are ninety. Logically, people change, so do our feelings. The only reason why we stick with the same partner is all the responsibilities that we have. If you are already married, surely, you do not want to start over again. What I mean is I do not think people that have a stable career would care to fall in love and have new babies all over again. They might as well stay with the same partner.

               Some people will say that love can bind two souls together forever until the day they die. This is another rubbish statement that does not make sense. How can you be so sure that your partner is created for you? As for me, I would say that everything would be sweet for you if the relationship is still at the early stage.  You do not know your partner’s inner self yet and I am sure everyone will try to hide their inner self especially in front of their loved ones. Things will somehow change when you have already known your partner for a long time; you will start to see their weaknesses.

               Next, I would say that I do not believe in love at first sight. Running through a field, arms wide open, a long embrace, and an even longer kiss. All these things will only happen in fairy tale. Love at first sight is actually lust at first sight. Seeing a stranger for the first time and admiring their beauty and physical attributes does not mean that you are in love. Most are so caught up with the first exciting moments of a new relationship that they go so far as to call it ‘love’. They do not understand their feeling, and the only thing that makes them attracted to each other is only appearances. Love takes time, commitment, nourishment, and trust. Without all those values, love will not be a success. In my opinion, people who say that they fell in love at first sight simply mean that they are in awe of the good looks they see.

               For some people, they would say that I have such a cynical view about love. I am just telling you my opinion, as I do not want people to keep on living in a fairy tale. Trust me, true love does not exist, as we are neither Cinderella nor Snow White. Wake up and get a life, step into reality. Maybe true love does exist, but it is hard to maintain given the distractions.

Sheril Emy Idayu Binti Abdul Latiff

What is love? Love is god. There’s a poem by Rumi, a Sufi poet, that I’d like to share with you:

“Gamble everything for love,

If you’re a true human being.

If not, leave this gathering.

Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.

You set out to find god, but then you keep

Stopping for long periods at mean-spirited roadhouses.”

Loving others is not so much an obligation but a privilege. Also, loving someone gives that person value; valuing someone increases love. Love is a wonderful feeling. It’s the feeling I get when I’m river trekking, camping, being in the outdoors and swimming.

Does true love exist? Yes.

Is there such thing as everlasting love? Yes.

Is love purely biological or spiritual? It’s intertwined.

Is love entirely selfless or selfish? Neither.

Before I end, I’d like to send my love to Liza, Pamelyn and Jenifer. Thank you.

Surain A.

              

Love, there are people who die because of love. Love, with its power, can make people fly high into the sky. What does love mean? Is it just a relation of man and a woman or does it mean more than that? For me, love means more than just a relation, means more than holding hands together, means more than just about having sex. To find the person that we love is easy, but to keep loving the same person is difficult. So, in a relationship, it is important to understand each other. This is the basic rule of relationships. If we cannot understand our partner, problems will arise later on.

               Love happens everywhere. Love is funny, especially when it happens when you least expect it. Since I got to Sri KDU, I have seen quite a number of incidents where my friends ‘accidentally’ fall in love. This one incident, however, which I personally rate as very sweet, is currently happening to one of my closest friends here.

               He is a student that a student should be. He has his mind concentrated on studies and assignments. He mixes well with everyone around. Initially, to him, it was all joy and contentment everyday having friends by his side. It was indeed a new experience for him to socialize with girls especially. Until one day, he himself could not understand what actually happened to him. He realized that he missed that one particular person during the long school break. For some reason, he was not fond of what he was feeling. He found that the feeling was kind of a torture, causing him to think of her most of the time, distracting him from his own life.

               Jealousy is an everyday feeling for him now. He feels jealous when she talks to other people but not him. He tries everyday to overcome the feeling, but it will eventually end in failure. Everyday he has the hope of getting at least some attention from her. He comes to the conclusion that what is happening to him is unavoidable. For the first time ever, he feels weak, unable to fight the feeling. Love is complicated.

               As for me, I prefer to be a lonely soldier boy. :p

Mohd Izzuddin Bin Nor Azminuddin

An elusive word, love. Love is complicated. Love is natural. There, a series of statements associated with love. Can someone define love? How does it feel when someone falls in love? Is love real? Uh, so many questions!

As love is subjective, it differs from person to person. One may say that love is when one cares for his partner. Emphasis on the word “care”. Next, one could say that when people are in love, they sacrifice for their relationship. At the other end, love satisfies human. Humans are blessed with feelings. One of the feelings is love. Oh, love is now a kind of feeling! There are people who say that love is needed to produce offspring. HAHAHA. Eh, we are not supposed to love only humans. We can love our shirts, our country, our school, our car, etc. Whoa, love is so big it can embrace almost everything.

Even for the definition of love, so many troubles have to be endured. In a world driven by knowledge and logic, everything must fall back on definitions. Definitions are very important as they provide the basis that we can fall on. We cannot build a tower without laying the foundation first. If there is no real definition for love, what is love actually? See, a question like that can already trigger so many problems. Maybe love is just a word with no meaning. Oh yea! Baah, to people who say that they are in love. There are other words that they can use like care, need, lust and responsibility. If we already have specific words like these, do we need the word love? Expunge this word. It just adds more confusion to the already complex world. The combination of the letters L, O, V, and E is invalid. They do not carry real meaning. Maybe the best way to end this is by uttering 3 most famous words: I LOVE YOU. Hmm, no difference right! I told yea :P

Firdaus B Roslan

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True Love (Lim Wei Jie , June 09)

True Love?

Lim Wei Jie

More and more monogamous relationships are breaking up, divorce cases are on the rise and infidelity seems to be a fashionable trend. Tiger Woods, Chelsea footballers (Ha!), politicians and celebrities, these are just a slew of examples of people involved in infidelity.

What happened to “For richer, for poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do we part”? Based on the aforementioned people, there seems to be an applicable leave the spouse can opt for during the relationship to satisfy his/her own lust. Society appears to have morphed into practicing dirty pragmatism where adults and teenagers alike demand for instantaneous results, or in this case, pleasure. When both partners work their asses off till 9pm every day, they will be too lethargic to reciprocate their partner’s love, not to mention having children. So one of the viable and practical solutions people will opt for is—polyamory.

Polyamory can be literally translated as many loves, or further defined as sharing love, romance, intimacy and affection with more than one person, openly and ethically by mutual agreement all around. Unsurprisingly, this seems to be a trend that is gaining momentum throughout the world, especially our western counterparts. Furthermore, more than 60 countries in the world recognise polygamy under their civil and traditional laws (Wikipedia, polyamory). The key factor that drives polyamory is the scepticism about marriage and the practicality of it in this era. Coincidentally, Aldous Huxley did play around with the idea of polyamory in his book (Brave New World) when he mentioned this as a key catalyst in forming utopia as open relationships, compared to monogamous, will eliminate any jealousy or suspicion that will consequently fizzle into a sour, spiteful acrimonious relationship. This resonates with the gist of polyamory as openness, trust, respect and sharing of unconditional love is prioritized. Polyamorists claim that the term ‘jealousy’ has been substituted with the opposite—‘compersion’  which means the feeling of joy that comes from knowing that the one you love is well loved by someone else. The fact that polyamory is about humans caring for each other without trying to own or possess each other reinforces the idea. A quote from a polyamorist: “Love should be unconditional, rather than the monogamous proposition of ‘I will love you on the condition that you will not love anyone else’. Love is infinite, and not a finite commodity. If you can love your first child as much as you love your second child, why not extend your love to more than one person?” (The Star Mag, 14^th Jan)

A typical hypothetical example of people involved in polyamory is Celeste, 28, who earns about RM25k a month and is seeking companionship but does not want commitment or emotional attachment. She will divide her attention among Mark, her date cum romancing partner; Ken, her travel cum romancing partner; Clement, her sports and date partner. Different partners fulfil different needs.

So will this relationship fail in the long run? Definitely, and it’s just not my cup of tea.

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The History of Valentine’s Day Compiled by Cassandra Teo

The History of Valentine’s Day

Compiled by Cassandra Teo

Ever wondered how Valentine's Day came about? What could have started this tradition of showing your love to your loved ones on a specific day every year? I mean, come on, why show your loved ones or crushes (secret crushes included) that you are thinking of them and appreciate them on only one day out of 365 days? And what special meaning did Valentine even have to insinuate such a lovey-dovey celebration?

           

Well, Valentine (or Valentinus) was actually the name of several Christian martyrs. The ones honored on the 14^th of February are Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni. Valentine of Rome was a priest in Rome who was martyred around 269 AD and was buried on the Via Flaminia (a Roman road leading from Rome to Ariminum (Rimini), and was the most important route to the north). His remains rest at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome, and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.

Valentine of Terni became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) around 197 AD. He is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian and was also buried on the Via Flaminia, albeit in a different location from Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni.

            Romantic elements are not present in the original biography of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the fourteenth century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost to the masses.

One of the legends depicts Valentine as a priest who served during the reign of Roman Emperor Claudius II, who outlawed marriage for young men as he believed that single men made better soldiers than those with families. Valentine, however, saw injustice in this and secretly performed marriages for young couples. Emperor Claudius arrested Valentine when he found out and ordered that he be put to death.

Another legend says that Valentine was prosecuted as a Christian and interrogated by the Emperor Claudius II in person. Valentine impressed Claudius (with what it is not known) and this led Emperor Claudius to have a discussion with him in an attempt to convert Valentine to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Instead, Valentine tried to convert Emperor Claudius to Christianity.  Because of this, he was executed. However, before his execution, Valentine is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer. On the eve of his execution, it is a widely believed fact that Valentine sent the first “valentine” himself to a young girl he had befriended (believed to be his jailer’s daughter). It was a note that was signed “From Your Valentine”.

            Other legends suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured. Though the truths behind the legends are murky, one thing remains the same: Valentine’s appeal as a romantic figure spread and made him a popular saint in England and France.

           

Some believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in the middle of February to honour Valentine’s death while others believe it was the effort of the Christian Church to ‘Christianize’ ancient pagan celebrations. One of the celebrations was the Roman Lupercalia festival, an archaic rite connected to fertility, which was celebrated between February 13^th and the 15^th (as February was the official month of the beginning of spring in ancient Rome and considered a time for purification). It was dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders, Romulus and Remus. The period between mid-January and mid-February was also the month of Gamelion in the ancient Athenian calendar. It was dedicated to the sacred marriage of Zeus and Hera, making it a popular month for marriages.

Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14^th was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February — Valentine's Day — should be a day for romance.

 Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century in Great Britain. By the mid-eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland (also known as the Mother of Valentine) began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.

Today, Valentine’s Day is the second largest card-sending holiday of the year (it has not beaten Christmas yet!). However, there are some families who choose to find other means of honoring Saint Valentine on Valentine’s Day. Many of these traditions involve bonfires, for fire is said to represent passion.

Source: Wikipedia

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LOVE: QUEST’CE QUE C’EST? (Pratik Raghu, June 09)

LOVE: QUEST’CE QUE C’EST?

 Pratik Raghu

A lean, blue eyed youth is illuminated by the moon, his pearly whites glittering like nighttime lights reflected by a river. His Adam’s apple bobs expectantly as he gently grasps the slender wrist of his ‘Cherie’, a near – ethereal vision of flawless skin and downy, auburn hair. They come together, their statuesque silhouettes framed crisply against a vast sky flecked with winking stars. As their lips lock, their arms entwine and their fingers dig into each other’s backs, an angst fuelled rock song from the early part of the last decade reaches its heart – rending climax.

Let us collectively thank the US of A for crafting the stereotypical image of love detailed above. Be it through movies, music or fashion statements, those Yanks sure know how to strike chords, don’t they? In the same way that they’ve reeled us into remarking “Oh my god!” for no apparent reason, in the same way that they’ve made half the civilized world suit up in low cut jeans, they’ve managed to radically alter the way the most powerful force in the universe is perceived. Label me a backward – thinking prude if you so wish, but I refuse to believe that true love must involve slavishly holding hands, swaying dazedly under a spotlight at a prom or spending hours on the phone saying “nothing at all” (sorry, Gym Class Heroes). What I would like to do is wash off the distorting makeup applied by Western pop – culture icons to try and fathom what love is, what it connotes, what it requires and what it can offer.

As far as the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary is concerned, love is “a strong feeling of deep affection for someone or something.” Accepting this vague, sterile definition of something so profoundly influential would be tantamount to saying that Charles Dickens was ‘a half - decent writer’ or describing the microprocessor as ‘a rather significant development.’ We can only comprehend the ramifications of love if we look around the tiny green planet we inhabit. Love is the force that drives a lioness to perennially keep an eye on her carefree cubs, as they gambol, trip, fall and gambol some more.  Love is the adhesive that can bind hearts together even as hairlines recede, exteriors crinkle and spines succumb to gravity. Love is the fire that crackled in Mahatma Gandhi’s chest cavity as he battled for India’s independence and, ultimately, its soul. Love has inspired acts of indescribable benevolence and nobility that continue to be reference points for us today.  It has obliterated seemingly insurmountable obstacles posed by ethnicity, religion, nationality, language and economic status. It has fuelled the conception and creation of our finest works of art and our most uplifting pieces of music. How can we then not conclude that love has shaped the world as we know it? Such is its power, such is its universality, such is its capability to change.

I feel that love mandates understanding and whole-hearted acceptance. How can we claim to love someone when we are unaware of that person’s true nature? Love requires that we recognize failings and idiosyncrasies without being disgusted, outraged or turned away: one shouldn’t forget that, as far as human beings as concerned, perfection is illusory. People should be forgiven for possessing aggravating mannerisms and for making decisions that we would not have. “Hate the sin, love the sinner,” as a “half -naked Indian fakir” once proclaimed. Judgment should always be preceded by careful consideration and insightful observation. We have to admire ‘the complete picture,’ not just the deft brush strokes in one particular corner.

Love requires compromise. Once we have accepted an individual’s flaws, it seems only sensible to display our love through compassionate accommodation.  This may involve giving up precious time, altering one’s lifestyle or even stepping into the ‘line of fire’ to shield and protect. I certainly believe that divorce rates in Western societies will plummet dramatically if Europeans and Americans become truly conscious of the importance of selflessness to a marriage.  It goes without saying that this applies as much to husbands as it does to wives: just as you cannot expect a single hand to clap by itself, you cannot say that a marriage involving chauvinistic subservience and overt concessions has true love as its cornerstone. Very many conservative Indians should commit the above sentence to memory! I personally feel indignant outrage every time I see sari – clad wives solemnly waiting for their husbands to polish their plates so that they can take their places at the table. Devotion should be cherished, not taken advantage of, and commitments should be whole-hearted expressions of one’s willingness to support, not obligations that must be attended to.

Needless to say, honesty is vital to the long term maintenance of relationships. Suspicions should never be given even an inkling of a chance to take root, while openness should be perpetuated from the get – go. I’m reminded of an excellently crafted short story by Jhumpa Lahiri, in which a husband and wife revive their flailing marriage by admitting their deepest secrets to each other in a blackout. The skeletons of one’s past need public funerals, for, if they’re tightly locked away in closets, they become quite adept at the art of sudden ambushing.

I find myself sighing exasperatedly as this article nears its conclusion. The fact of the matter is, love has touched human hearts for thousands of years. It is relevant to everything from literature, art, music and moviemaking to sociology, statistics, politics and the natural world. Its omnipresence seems to rival that of pagan religious icons – and yet, even humanity’s most scholarly minds struggle to assign it a definitive definition. I suppose that we’re then forced to place love in the same category as God, the meaning of life and the origins of the universe. Maybe some things must be intuited, and not known. I don’t know if we’re meant to get to the bottom of love – but I do fiercely believe that we’re meant to embrace, rejoice and spread it from the depths of our hearts.

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On What Love Is ( Edward Ong )

On What Love Is

Edward Ong

Love is mimicry. There should be little doubt about this as you observe how Monkey A observes Monkey B de-flea Monkey C, and then proceeds to replicate the same tender act on Monkey D. The “mechanism” to de-flea, biologists would say, is already embedded in Monkey A (see it as a gift from Evolution), but the setting-into-motion of it comes from observation. Love, though said to work in mysterious ways, also works in this anti-climactically banal fashion.

               What most claim to be love is, in actuality, copied behaviour. You watch your peers fall in love (more often than not with the opposite sex), hold hands, play footsie, coo all the right things at the right time, lock lips, and then you think to yourself: A-ha! So that’s how you should play Falling In Love. Little do you know (in fact you don’t really want to know) the very act of Falling In Love is an elaborate charade that has been played by billions of lovers in only slightly differing ways throughout human history. But Wait! you say. Just because billions of others have done it before, does it necessarily have to be a terrible thing? Of course not, you confused, love-infected Casanova. There is nothing wrong with doing what the whole universe has done before. What is wrong is that you have been blithely unaware of it all this time, and that, my little lover, could have dire, unpleasant consequences.

               Ask any 18-year-old in 2010 about what love is, he will quote Lady Gaga verbatim:

I want your ugly, I want your disease

I want your everything as long as it’s free

I want your love (love-love-love I want your love)

It is all fine and dandy for Lady Gaga, who is already a multi-millionaire and may have lovers in throngs, but for common lovers like us this curious approach to Love is impractical and misleading. Perhaps Lady Gaga should not bear the brunt of vulgarising Love (she is after all only one woman, and an unassuming one at that). If blame is to be dispensed, it should be done in the direction of the media, which is solely responsible for creating a corrupt culture of Love that our young generation has faithfully copied.

               Where should one start looking for the fissures? Rap/urban culture is as good a place as any. Plenty has been said by sociologists, feminists, concerned parents about the destructiveness generated by rap’s unsavoury image. Yes, it paints women as “ho’s”. Yes, it calls every man who attempts to be cultured a “faggot”. Yes, it glorifies alpha-male aggression (Monkey A would agree). But of all its “crimes”, the most heinous of which must be the murder of Romantic Love. The studio executive who coined the phrase “thug love” should be shot left, right and centre (if aggression is what he seeks).  

               What’s the big hoopla? you ask. It’s just music! I say: No, it’s not just music. If you listen to how the current pants-hanging-down-to-the-knees, gold chain-sporting, mother-this-and-that-effing generation going on about who they laid last night, you know it is praying at the altar of Eminem, Lil’ Wayne, Jay-Z, Ludacris and other such literary luminaries. Its truths, including that of Love, are defined by these men, who are artificial products of a dying music business which is grasping at straws to stay afloat. The rap/urban culture is an entrepreneurial scheme that has been designed to convince its followers of its streetwise “cred”, and this, most unfortunately, demands the sacrifice of Romantic Love.

               You may not believe this, but there was a time, when most of you were foetuses, when black, yes black!, men could sing. And oh god, how they sang! When Peabo Bryson sang “If ever you're in my arms again/This time I'll love you much better/If ever you're in my arms again/This time I'll hold you forever/This time will never end,” my generation believed every word. Then there was that gorgeous black girl with a gorgeous voice to match, pre-drugs of course, who plucked at the heartstrings of every young lover with:

Though I’ve tried to resist

Being last on your list

But no other man’s gonna do

So I’m saving all my love for you!

Ah, what romance! What naivete! Of course, all this was an entrepreneurial scheme, too – but with a glaring difference. This scheme didn’t make us look at Love as if it’s a beast that might tear us in two. It didn’t tell us, to own Love, we would have to “get lowdown and dirty”. It instead made us fall in love in troves. It realised our dream of dancing in the arms of our lovers next to a candle-lit dinner table strewn with freshly-cut roses. It made us internalise the possibility, no matter how outlandish that possibility is, of everlasting love. The romanticising of Love, you insist, is just as fake as the “urbanising” of it. Those songs are just pure, unadulterated sap, bad for your teeth. That’s not what Love is in real life! Love in real life is rough; it pricks and makes you bleed. Point taken. Neither the romanticising nor the vulgarising (euphemism unnecessary) is what Love should be, that much is clear. But given that we are dealing with an abstract emotion that must find expression when the pressure is on, what other ways, apart from the two contrasting alternatives mentioned above, is the human psyche capable of devising? The intellectualising of it, as what I am attempting to do now? Or should we deify it, the way the Christian martyr Boethius did in Consolation of Philosophy? Speaking of the natural and human forces of the universe, he says they are “firmly bound by Love, which rules both earth and sea, and has its empire in the heavens too … By Love are peoples too kept bound together by a treaty which they may not break.” A little too metaphysical, too impersonal for my taste, and curiously smacking of the faux spirit of togetherness represented by the 1960s. No, even a saint’s words will not do.  Love, for me, is a deeply personal manifestation. It flowers within me even when I have lost all hope in the world; it assures me that the hand which is holding mine may just be the one that will cure me of my fear of abandonment; it overcomes my fear of death and lets me know – even though the knowledge may be flawed – that there may just be meaning to my existence. Its roots may be biological (nature tells me to seek love so that I can reproduce), but its significance is transcendental.

               That is why if my perception of Love is to be determined by a “trend”, I will gladly choose saccharinity over vulgarity. At least when things are excessively sweet, I will know there is goodness lodged in there somewhere. Goodness, I am sure even Boethius would agree, is what Love is all about.

Afterthought: If you are old enough to remember Saving All My Love For You, you may recognise the irony of my using it to exemplify Romantic Love. It is after all a song about adultery. And yes, who says sweetness cannot be found even there?

Lyrics:

Bad Romance. Composers: Stefani Germanotta, Nadir Khayat. Performed by Lady Gaga

If Ever You’re In My Arms Again. Composers: Michael Masser, Tom Snow, Cynthia Weil.

Performed by Peabo Bryson.

Saving All My Love For You. Composers: Gerry Goffin, Michael Masser. Performed by Whitney

Houston.

Consulted website:

www.san.beck.org/Boethius.html

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Interview with Mr. Paul Kiong / Prepared by Azlan Bin Latif

In this March issue, we bring you an exclusive interview with Mr. Paul Kiong, who was in Sri KDU for a talk session with the IB students. Mr. Paul Kiong was honoured with the highest award of Sri Gagah Panglima Perkasa, for excellent service in the police force fighting against communists. Including him, there are only 8 recipients of this award.  He was born in Perak, and spent 15 years of his life fighting communist. The March issue has the main topic of “Love”, and in this interview, we see how love has always been a strong motivation for him.

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OM      : Having fought so hard to free our country from the hands of communists, you must love Malaysia very much. Can you describe the love you have for our country?

Paul Kiong       : I love Malaysia very much without any doubt. If there is a repeat of the communist era, I would not hesitate for a second time to put my life on the line for Malaysia. I am always prepared.

OM      : As a policeman in the special force, you must have had many interesting / dangerous experiences. Is there any among them that you want to share?

Paul Kiong       : The most dangerous experience I had was when some of the communist soldiers turned themselves in. At that time, we had this agreement that whoever turned themselves in to the police, they would not be punished, but would be treated as friends instead, with the condition of they would serve the police. So I had this one ex-communist who lived and stayed with me in the police camp. He was with the communists for 18 years. Logically, he would have been a very loyal communist servant, so it was very risky to just simply let him stay with the police forces. He could betray us anytime. But that risk was something that all the police had to take in order to gain his trust. Four days of living together with the ex-communist put our lives on the line. It turned out he never betrayed us. Come to think of it again, why would he betray us? He had been living comfortably with enough food supply and his family was in safe hands since quitting as a communist.

OM      : This might be a bit off the main topic, but we hope you don’t mind us asking. What is your response to Chin Peng wanting to return to Malaysia?

Paul Kiong       : Chin Peng was the leader for Parti Komunis Malaya (PKM) and he was a commander. Back then, he wanted to topple the legal government of Malaya. So, his coming back here would definitely cause an unnecessary stir as a lot of people hold grudges against him. If he does come back, it will cause a lot of unhappiness and displeasure, especially among the police forces of that time.

OM      : Sir, we know that you have a wife. During the communist insurgencies you must have had to face many dangers almost every moment of the day. How did you and your wife cope with that? And how tough was it to deal with the fact that you had to live apart from each other most of the time?

Paul Kiong       :  We were married on the 2^nd of October 1971. How bad was it? My own son could not even recognize me as his dad after an operation I had. I went home at that time with a very pale face, well you know, in the jungle we didn’t bathe. Even if we did, we were not allowed to use soap or else we would easily be spotted by the communists. We could cope with the fact that I had to be away most of the time all because we understood each other. My wife understood the nature of my job. She never asked “When are you coming back?” Because we both knew that I might not be back.

OM      : As a reward and recognition of your services and sacrifices for the country, you have been honoured as the Panglima Gagah Perkasa. What is your response to that honour?

Paul Kiong       : I am very proud of it as it was given by the government, which means, it is from the people of Malaysia. To me, this is not a personal achievement, but together as a group, me and the police force.

OM      : During the battles you had, what was the main thing you thought of? What made you stay alive? What motivated you?

Paul Kiong       : All I had in mind was, the LOVE for my family, and also my country. I only wanted to go back home alive, because of my concern for them. If I was killed, who would take care of my family? I LOVE my wife and son so much, I just didn’t want them to be sad, I didn’t want them to hear the news of my death.

OM      : Last but not least, sir, do you have any message that you would like to send out to the young Malaysians today to develop their feeling of love for the country?

Paul Kiong       : Firstly, treasure the peace and harmony that you are enjoying now. We struggled and fought so hard to obtain this, take some time to understand the sacrifices we went through. Never forget the forefathers with their hardship to put us where we are now. Communism is unlikely to happen again here in Malaysia, so you won’t have the chance to defend your country like we did. But what you can do for Malaysia is to contribute and bring up the name of Malaysia in the eyes of the world, such as by excelling in studies or sports or whatever way. One thing I dislike about Malaysians nowadays is their habit of emigrating to other countries. In a way, I am offended because it is as if they did not have love for their own country.

OM      : Thank you, sir, for the very inspirational words. We hope to see you again and thank you for your sacrifices for the country. (Salutes!)

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