PEDANTIC GRAMMAR CORNER

When does something become conditional?

There are three conditional modes in the English language. They are all very easy and follow rigid rules:

1. If something is a fact and is likely to happen according to the laws of reality and physics, you say the following:

          If the job is too tough, I will not do it.

You suspect the job to be tough, so you have decided you may not want to do it. Note that the if-clause is in the simple present tense (is), and the one after it is in the simple future (will).

2. If something is a figment of your imagination and unlikely to happen, you say the following:

          If the world ended tomorrow, I would go out tonight and party.

It is not likely for the world to end tomorrow, so what you are stating is in fact fantastical. Note that all the verbs are now in the past tense (ended/would).

It is also possible to say:

          If the world were (not was) to end tomorrow, I would go out tonight and party.

            and

          Were the world to end tomorrow, I would go out tonight and party.

These sentences essentially mean the same thing.

3. If something has already happened or has not happened, and you regret that fact, you say the following:

          If I had known about the party, I would have come.

The fact is you didn’t know about the party (where a lot of fun was had) and you didn’t go, and now you are kicking yourself for it. Note that all the verbs are now in the past perfect tense (had known/would have come).

Extras:

Sentences that begin with “I wish” and “Suppose” work the same way:

            I wish you didn’t have to go. (The fact is the person in question has to go and you are just imagining that he/she could stay.)

I wish I had known about the party.  (See 3)

Suppose I gave you a thousand ringgit and you did what I said. (See 2. There is no way I am giving you a thousand ringgit.)

Pitfalls:

It would be ridiculous and rather nonsensical to say:

          If I were a millionaire, I will buy a Porsche.

            or

          If I had seen it coming, I would be prepared.

            or

            If it would rain, I would not go to school. (This is often said by careless English users – who are often native speakers and should know better. It is impossible to have two woulds in the same sentence, unless you are making a polite request, as in “If you would kindly show me the way, I would be most grateful.” Confused already?)